| filtered to Pierre |
[Apr. 2nd, 2009|02:04 am] |
Pierre? I hate to do this, but things have been so quiet for the band for so long and everything's difficult and I just want to talk about it. I mean, I don't want it to end and I'll do anything if someone else feels that way about it to keep it alive. I just need one person to tell me I'm not insane and it's worth going for. You started it and I don't know, part of me just thinks you'll agree and not want it to just die out. We've done so much and I don't want it to end.
All my love though, whatever you say. |
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| to those in the know |
[Jul. 6th, 2008|11:10 am] |
Megan's over at COL with me now, but she says she's got to go soon. She's going to come back to Vic Lane in a bit, if she's quite done teasing me stupid about how apparently her and Ella know whether my niece/nephew is a niece or nephew. She's also made a large hole in a cake she brought around, the menace.
But in case some of you don't get to see her, she's getting me to type this out while Yvonne lets her play with Butterball (oh god). She says she loves you all very much, and is going to miss you. And apparently she will not leave until Deirdrehugs have been given tonight.
Message conveyed so I believe my work is done :) |
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| friends only |
[May. 5th, 2008|03:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
I'm thinking of going away for a bit. I don't know. I don't even know why I'm putting it here, it wouldn't really affect anyone. But yeah. There it is. |
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| friends only, no Kay or Rosanna |
[Mar. 30th, 2008|08:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
I feel like a thousand and one things are weighing down on me, like.. big weighty things. I can't stop going, have to keep moving. But I'm sick of telling Rosanna that her marriage is fine, that Mario isn't distant with her. I'm sick of telling Kay to eat, it's like forcing an elephant to move with only your bare hands, or preaching to someone with no ears or something. I'm sick of people saying nothing but that they're sorry, because I can't deal with that because it's not their fault and I just can't mope for the rest of my life. But moving on doesn't seem right, or even possible right now. I'm fed up with living my life, as it doesn't seem useful right now except to just stay and try my best for everyone around me.
I'm sorry for sharing these thoughts, but I need to. I can't keep them private any more. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2008|10:38 am] |
Just got off the phone. Kay's safe, Tamm's bringing her home
It's some relief. |
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| filtered to Tamm |
[Jan. 5th, 2008|12:52 pm] |
I'm so sorry Tamm. If there's anything, anything at all I can do, please don't hesitate to let me know.
There are no words. There are just no words. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 9th, 2007|10:20 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Day Three: Pain - Ayreon | ] |
The past two days.. better, for me at least. It's been a joy to have Ella with me, we seem to be getting along better than ever. She's happier too, which is a comforting sight.
Friday I have to show a prospective buyer around the studio. I've already been contacted by one person about lessons, which is promising. It seems to be working out so far.. even if it isn't an ideal situation.
We'll see. |
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| filtered to Tamm |
[Sep. 8th, 2007|11:58 am] |
|
Tamm.. I was with Kay this morning, and she kept asking if she could get up to see people. She said she wanted to see someone called Nancy - I think she's a friend of yours, but I'm only assuming here, or Deirdre or someone who's name I forgot. I'm confused, and she seemed to be too. I wouldn't know who to talk to about it, but I wondered if you'd noticed anything like that. |
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| friendslocked |
[Sep. 7th, 2007|09:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | worried | ] |
I spent this morning at the hospital, just talking to Kay. She keeps sleeping, which is probably something to be expected, but when she wakes up she seems to be horribly upset the whole time. I don't know what to say to make her stop crying, but I'm honestly trying my best. I'm still worried about her, but I know that these things take time.
I've just been into work again.. Tobi said he's already found someone who wants to buy the place. It's a litte quicker than I hoped. *shrugs* |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 6th, 2007|12:10 pm] |
|
Kay's doctors informed me that she's definitely going to get better. She was awake today, only for a little bit, and they all have high hopes for her. One nurse went as far as to say it was a miracle, and while that sounds stupid I couldn't care less. I've never felt this relieved in so long. |
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| a few thoughts |
[Aug. 31st, 2007|12:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Precious Things - Tori Amos | ] |
I'm so glad that Chloe's safe. I hope that no one I know ever has to go through anything horrible again. Never.
I know I probably bore anyone who reads this, but maybe you can put up with me for a little while longer.
It looks like I'll be unemployed fairly soon. After consulting an accountant, it looks like the studio can't be saved. Every day until then we're going to keep being productive and doing what be do - to the best of our abilities. I still have my teaching, I'm currently looking into expanding that. If anyone knows someone who'd like lessons, please don't hesitate to give them my number. (Shameless, I know.)
It's strange to think of it. I've had this job for just over a year, and the happiness it's brought me just astounds me. For one thing, I doubt I'd be living where I am or have the friends that I have. I'm not even sure if I'd be the person I am today. After..after things failed with Michael I was too wrapped up in this little bubble, this shell. I was scared. But I don't think I am any more.
Echo closing is a great loss for me. But I'm hopeful that it'll mark the start of better times - even despite the good I've had in this past year.
I'm sorry to go on like this, and I'm almost done now. All I have to say is that Echo is one of the best places I've ever worked at, and I hope that other people are lucky enough to even have a job half as good as that one.
And now for drink. I have to admit, I'm a little on the tipsy side.. enough to be sentimental but not to be all over the place.
:) |
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| Private |
[Aug. 29th, 2007|02:02 pm] |
Why? Just why?
Poor Yvonne and poor Chloe. It shouldn't be like this, least of all for them. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2007|02:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
Adonis's first official outing tomorrow night. *smiles* |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2007|10:44 am] |
I had a good weekend, and some very interesting discussion with some very talented musicians. Sometimes I'm not certain if I appreciate how lucky I am. I ended up discussing "finding words" and writing lyrics to music that you find is difficult to express in words. I was told that sometimes you have to look beyond what you normally do, and find out the way to express yourself - regardless of language. So I'm writing in Italian now. I'm happier with it already. A nameless tune is already "Inverno" and I'm pleased with it.
It's funny how the words that might not seem like much, can affect you when you recall them and consider them more carefully. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 3rd, 2007|05:55 pm] |
At the end of the week I like to sit and think about what I've done. Could I have done it better? What shouldn't I have done?
I'm not going to do that today, for the simple reason that I'm still too confused. But I'm sure that things will even out in time, as they seem to have a funny way of doing that.
I can only hope.
It's quiet here. This is very strange, you know? Normally there's some kind of music or noise or crashes or I'mnotsureIwanttoknow...
I take that back, I can hear someone screaming. Hopefully it's not Eric, because that would mean that Butterball is loose or something..and I don't really like that idea very much. |
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| filtered so Ella can't see |
[Aug. 1st, 2007|10:48 am] |
Some progress today so far. I've taken the day off, and spent most of it so far with Ella while everyone else was out. She's in the shower now, but she doesn't hate me any more. If she did hate me to start with, that is. Dislike. There you go.
I've been trying to think of things I can do with her today but I'm drawing a blank. I don't want to be overly cheerful because a) I'm not and b) she'd hate that and probably go back to disliking me. But so far we've talked, and we've agreed that she's got to tell our parents at some point. It won't be easy, considering that our mother is a devout Catholic and has already disowned one daughter... I wish I could make things easier for her.
We only fall so that we learn not to trip up next time. |
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| Private |
[Jul. 30th, 2007|05:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | worried | ] |
I'm hoping and praying for you, my sister. I don't know what happened, but I want you to be safe. |
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| Writer's Block: Bump In The Night |
[Jul. 24th, 2007|03:12 pm] |
What are you afraid of?
Go on then, livejournal, I'll humour your front page. What could I possibly be afraid of?
The first answer is obvious. Butterball, but I'm only a little bit afraid of her.
The second comes after a moment of thought. I'm afraid of failure, though I think that fear comes to everyone at some point. I'm afraid of stepping forwards and falling down because there was nothing to hold me up and keep me going.
This thought may be used to explain the fact that I refuse to do anything without careful consideration and evaluation.
And a third answer would be the thing that lives in the cupboard. My father used to tell my sisters and I stories about monsters who ate bad little girls who didn't go to sleep.
That was truly terrifying when I was small, believe me. |
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| Phone call: |
[Jul. 13th, 2007|02:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
My younger sister called me today. Younger, not youngest. Apologised for not speaking to me sooner, and would I come to her wedding and would I be a bridesmaid?
*raises eyebrows*
Then when asked "What about our mother" I was replied with a well-rehearsed "It's my life, not hers."
*raises eyebrows more* |
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caughtinafold's journal
embarrassed